so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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