Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she told me i tasted like america
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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