The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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