I look better un-naked...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
