My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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