I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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