there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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