I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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