I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize