I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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