I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize