i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
