were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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