Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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