If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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