Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Pooping to opera.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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