Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
