Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize