I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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