We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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