Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND