Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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(858): View more from California

Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.

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(613): View more from Ontario

my text book just quoted the cookie monster

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(651): View more from Minnesota

He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.

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29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too

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(515): View more from Iowa

Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.

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(+49): View more from Germany

Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND

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