Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!

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  (813): why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?! http://tfl.nu/lcio
  Replies (26) Good night (804) Bad night (2253)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.

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  (314): In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night. http://tfl.nu/bhg6
  Replies (12) Good night (1871) Bad night (3072)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order

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  (847): then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order http://tfl.nu/len1
  Replies (11) Good night (877) Bad night (5451)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.

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  (605): dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce. http://tfl.nu/vye8
  Replies (20) Good night (4347) Bad night (919)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....

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  (616): No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet.... http://tfl.nu/e90k
  Replies (3) Good night (1978) Bad night (1584)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.

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  (406): I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling. http://tfl.nu/7oui
  Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (2511)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.

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  (516): I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology. http://tfl.nu/5jdj
  Replies (6) Good night (575) Bad night (1025)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.

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  (306): We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them. http://tfl.nu/jpsq
  Replies (8) Good night (2066) Bad night (559)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great

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  (610): On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great http://tfl.nu/63wg
  Replies (6) Good night (1006) Bad night (506)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.

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  (224): i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing. http://tfl.nu/a3ha
  Replies (5) Good night (440) Bad night (1047)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now

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  (908): He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now http://tfl.nu/rqph
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (313)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.

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  (518): I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed. http://tfl.nu/rfcq
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (275)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink

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  (307): We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink http://tfl.nu/q4ce
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (202)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.

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  (978): Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken. http://tfl.nu/ufvt
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (222)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food

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  (971): It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food http://tfl.nu/42uv
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (248)

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