Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?