Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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  (904): I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom. http://tfl.nu/lxr2
  Replies (18) Good night (1424) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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  (303): My liver just broke up with me... http://tfl.nu/2vsq
  Replies (2) Good night (1108) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you

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  (716): I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you http://tfl.nu/bf9k
  Replies (27) Good night (935) Bad night (6456)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.

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  (203): I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under. http://tfl.nu/oj4t
  Replies (14) Good night (3490) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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  (519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v
  Replies (27) Good night (8693) Bad night (1198)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help

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  (917): I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help http://tfl.nu/ynln
  Replies (26) Good night (5703) Bad night (2062)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.

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  (904): Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone. http://tfl.nu/zr80
  Replies (9) Good night (3154) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.

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  (978): I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground. http://tfl.nu/oy4l
  Replies (5) Good night (1727) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.

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  (205): I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work. http://tfl.nu/jnr2
  Replies (8) Good night (1207) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.

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  (816): Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again. http://tfl.nu/9z7k
  Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

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  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
  Replies (3) Good night (563) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

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  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.

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  (310): My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another. http://tfl.nu/1lkm
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (205)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma

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  (740): Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma http://tfl.nu/tujv
  Replies (1) Good night (197) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...

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  (918): You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza... http://tfl.nu/o125
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (147)

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