Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

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(561): Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign. http://tfl.nu/lnzh

Replies (4) Good night (1067) Bad night (948)
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(703): View more from Virginia

So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?

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(703): So... how did lowering your standards work out last night? http://tfl.nu/lq5v

Replies (5) Good night (1289) Bad night (790)
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(416): View more from Ontario

I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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(416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7

Replies (2) Good night (803) Bad night (2468)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom

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(630): i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/c6lg

Replies (17) Good night (1713) Bad night (4505)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could

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(973): He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could http://tfl.nu/0a7l

Replies (36) Good night (12131) Bad night (1019)
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(619): View more from California

Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck

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(619): Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck http://tfl.nu/s9r0

Replies (20) Good night (3592) Bad night (1886)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.

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(517): Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night. http://tfl.nu/6sjb

Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (1065)
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(773): View more from Illinois

He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.

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(773): He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date. http://tfl.nu/geei

Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (1465)
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(313): View more from Michigan

My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?

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(313): My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up? http://tfl.nu/qcgq

Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (457)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.

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(202): I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out. http://tfl.nu/03ma

Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (482)
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(727): View more from Florida

Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.

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(727): Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes. http://tfl.nu/6vbt

Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (561)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.

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(815): I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it. http://tfl.nu/z6ex

Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (297)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

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(774): when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two. http://tfl.nu/rn6m

Replies (6) Good night (307) Bad night (838)
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(954): View more from Florida

He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.

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(954): He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches. http://tfl.nu/q04i

Replies (3) Good night (241) Bad night (379)
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(334): View more from Alabama

I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan

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(334): I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan http://tfl.nu/k05v

Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (120)

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