So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
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I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah