i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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