i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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