I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize