There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
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You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student