Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".