Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize