You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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