Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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