we should wear snuggies to the strip club
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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