Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize