It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Michael Bay diarrhea
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
