is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I cockslap morals
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
