saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
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Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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