If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Bring me that man meat
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