Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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