Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
