How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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