i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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