AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize