Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize