Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon