We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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