When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We have started to decorate penises.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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