some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here