It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Someone came in the potted fern
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.