I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
