they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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