haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
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Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?