WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far