He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups