I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
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FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
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The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet