mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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