Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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