can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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